As if nicotine, strip joints and MTV's Jersey Shore weren't enough, the Lord above layeth a new addiction upon me this past week: Chatroulette.com. For the record, all anecdotes in this article are true, either from personal experience or interviews with fellow users. To readers not familiar with Chatroulette.com, this exposé may appear shocking, grotesque, X-rated and, at times, pathetic.
This is because, as seasoned veterans know, Chatroulette is all of these things: shocking, grotesque, X-rated. But all of this shock value wrapped in one pretty Web site is half the reason it keeps us coming back for more—making us...pathetic? I beg to differ.
To participate in Chatroulette, one merely clicks "Play" and they are up and running, randomly paired in a video chat with someone else in the world that is also logged onto the site. There is a "next" button for when conversation tires or one does not like what they see (a bunch of hogans, for instance). Users flip through video chat after video chat until they land on a chat partner or group of partners that meet expectations and virtual goals.
Because I am not female and have not yet found a single local female completely immersed in Chatroulette, this article will strictly document the male response and male point of view, for which I have established four major groups, based on their general actions on screen. (This is not to say girls are not on Chatroulette—as that is the other half of the reason my fellow Rouletters and I are so drawn to it, whether it be the hunt for cheap thrills, love or a combination of the two.) I call these four major groups the Big Four Male Stages of Addiction on Chatroulette.com, or BFMSOAOCR (pronounced biff-ihm-soh-ay-oh-ker).
The One: The Curious, aka The Friendly, aka The Newb
Minimal "nexting"; wants to meet new people around the world; amazed at their new-found comfort displaying their face and personality to random people, intrigued by other kind folk; most excited by long, thought provoking conversation. Cons: often new to Chatroulette, unexpected and frustrating encounters with Threes and Fours; laughs with Twos.
The Two: The Goofball, aka The Jokester, aka The Loser
Moderate "nexting"; wants to generate surprised reactions in viewers (preferably Ones); most excited by viewers' (in particular Ones) positive reactions to their jokes (funny hats, face-making, etc.), people laughing, surprised looks on faces. Cons: least cool Chatroulette stage, childish humor.
The Three: The Aggressor, aka The Real Jerk, aka The Intolerant
"Nexts" frequently, immediately after dishing insults; wants to hurt people's feelings whether they see a physical reaction or not; sick pleasure from establishing pseudo (the Fours are the real kings) alpha male status after verbally assaulting others (anywhere from embarrassing celebrity look-a-like call outs to utterly homophobic, anti-Semitic, and/or racist remarks); most excited by a One or a Two that looks exactly like a lame celebrity. Cons: suffer from post-Chatrouletting guilt, dangerously close to becoming a Four.
The Four: The D*ck Guy, aka The D*ck Guy
Constantly "nexting" all he is not immediately attracted to (99.9 percent of users); driven by desire to show as many people as possible live, full-frontal nudity, eventually achieving orgasm; thrill seeker, desires sexual fulfillment; most excited by males/females (depending on sexual preference) doing similar things. Cons: joining the ranks of those who flaunt full frontal on the Internet (i.e. once a d*ck guy, always a d*ck guy); once you enter the ranks of the Fours, never again will you be able to return to the safer (but less fulfilling) ranks of the Ones, Twos and Threes.
Each stage feeds into the next, and everyday more Ones are becoming Twos, Twos are becoming Threes, etc. My studies have revealed that, although endless subgroups exist within The Big Four on Chatroulette (like guitar player Ones, clown costume Twos), one typically starts as a One, and rotates in a circular pattern from One to Two to Three, often skipping quickly over the Three back to One, and not spending enough time hating to make the transition to the flaunter of genitalia.
It appears as the jovial Twos appeal to Ones, the Ones become the Twos. When harassed for their stupidity, Twos direct their anger back into Chatroulette as Threes, a state which doesn't last due to an eventual guilt resulting in the return to One status. This perfect cycle feeds into itself and is the result of the growing intrigue and addictions we see exploding on college campuses across the country and beyond.
One particular student who wishes to remain anonymous was sucked into Chatroulette by a "woman caressing her nether-regions." He described it as a "pivotal experience" and since has "searched endlessly for that same situation."
This is the prime example of what one would call a heavy Chatroulette user, as this John Doe was treated to an extremely rare and intimate moment with a stranger during his first Chatroulette experience. An immediate intimate experience like this puts this particular user at high risk for joining the Fours, and I worry that if I haven't already seen it yet, he'll be hanging it all out in cyberspace within a week.
I fear the same for myself, as I was roped into Chatroulette (with another user who wishes to remain anonymous) by way of a woman engaging in illicit activity with a dog. I realize that because of this I am also in this high risk group, and I refrain as much as possible from becoming a Three in case I do make the decision to go Four on the world. I wish it was more than just my paranoia of being recorded to deter me from this group—but alas, that is the sad truth.
The simple fact that I'd rather not be recorded doing lewd things on a video screen is holding me back from being crowned co-king of Chatroulette. The more recently mentioned anonymous fellow user claims that after that experience, he thought he was done with the Web site, but upon returning home "the urge to return to that world was so strong" that he ended up logging close to five hours soon afterwards.
As an openly active Chatroulette user I want to make it clear that not all is bad in Chatroulette. I especially don't mean to scare the Newbs off. I just want to educate the public on this social phenomenon that, if one is not careful, can eat up large chunks of time.
If I haven't lost you yet, let me tell you what good things can happen! I, after all, found my soul mate on Chatroulette—a beautiful brunette from Tulsa whose name I will never know, but whose beauty and polite affection I will never forget. Another friend spent an entire hour gabbing with a Korean girl, with whom he exchanged names and who are now the best of Facebook friends. A diary-toting local band has even received several gig offers through Chatroulette!
In summation, if you are willing to take a verbal punch once in a while or catch a glimpse of a grown man's penis (at least) every five minutes, you can actually make connections and friendships that, without Chatroulette, would never exist.
So whether you are the thrill seeker, the friend finder, the goof, the meanie or the pervert, I can assure you Chatroulette has something to offer. Be it a silly, serious, depraved or intimate experience, we all have something to learn about ourselves from Chatroulette.com. That's enough from me—back to the Chatroulette!
